Recently my oldest has gotten into puzzles. For us, it’s an improvement that we’ve been anxiously waiting for. You see, our oldest has a very limited attention span for anything, including things she likes. Part of this I’m sure is due to her age since she’s still only four, but since her father and I both have an A.D.D. diagnosis, her outlook on having a brain built to focus is pretty slim. So, for her to choose to sit and do an activity where she has to complete a complex task for a few hours, is a solid win for her growth as a person.
However, her ability (or inability) to focus isn’t what we’ve been waiting for. The true accomplishment we are starting to see is her resilience to stick with something when it’s “not working”. This isn’t always an A.D.D issue, but having that model of the brain certainly can become a hindrance to growing a perceiving spirit.
This difference defines my husband and I’s approach to life. For him, he has determination in spades. He cannot tear himself away from something that needs to be done, even if it’s something impossible to do. This ability is great in that, more often than not, my husband can find a way to make the impossible possible! However, the drawback is that he cannot rest in any way until the job is done. This makes task management a nightmare but also propels him into the career and success that he is today.
For me, I have little perseverance. I struggle to see anything as accomplishable and this has both advantages as disadvantages. On the positive, I can get almost any job done, no matter the circumstances. If something isn’t working I quickly jump from idea to idea until something sticks and allows me to get to the next step. I can react and accept what’s happening quickly and it makes me less stressed and a little more nimble when it comes to life in general.
However, the drawback is obvious. I’m not resilient. I don’t push when something needs pushing. When something is difficult or doesn’t seem to be working I automatically assume I’m not doing it right. It just never occurs to me that something that seems impossible might not me. So I will restart or jump to something else because I don’t seem to be making headway.
In writing (especially when writing plot) the headway is invisible. There are weeks spent sometimes figuring out how to make a simple decision and it’s so frustrating. Much like my daughter’s puzzles, there are lots of pieces that don’t seem to go together and it feels like I’m beating a dead horse. It at these times I have to be someone other than my natural self. I must take inspiration from my husband and make it happen, even if it feels wrong.
These are my feelings as I work out the judicial system of this fairytale world.
It feels dumb and an absurdly small piece of information, but it has to be done because, if not, I will write myself into a corner. A lot of time and research went into this picture and it feels like I’ve taken a week to move an inch. But all in all, it needed to be done. I need to push past what feels stupid and impossible and do it anyway and maybe I can grow in determination just as my daughter does.
So here’s hoping for a week that makes me feel more accomplished, but -if not- then here’s hoping I will push through and do the impossible.
Peace be with you!