My husband kept bugging me to listen to a book written by Jon Alof called “Quitter.” I said, “I will,” and then (as usual) kept putting it off. But, after too many weeks of wading through the toxic environment of social websites, I figured if I might as well consume something good for myself. So, I downloaded the book to my audible, hit play, and got to work cleaning around the house while I listened.
The book has been interesting so far. Jon Acuff is a blogger and writer known for writing about the everyday humor and irony of the Christian experience. Some folks don’t like his work, though I find his perspective and humor real and authentic-something that I think is severely lacking in the Christian community. While he is a Christian, the book is focused less on Christianity and more on the struggles and wisdom he gathered from his life of working towards achieving his dream job.
This isn’t the best summary, but feel free to listen to the book yourself to create a better one. Either way, I have been gleaning a lot from it and have found myself relating far more than I wish to the stumbling blocks he had experienced on his path. One that really spoke to me this week is not quitting your day job.
Now, as someone unemployed, this may seem silly. However, as a mother of (soon to be) three, I can’t stress how much I understand the pain in this. I thought I was a busy person before. I thought I was someone who could take the hard work into stride and come out unscathed. And in a lot of ways, I did do those things! I’ve worked in some very chaotic and stressful workplaces, with extended hours and little to show for it. I’ve done the adventure of working two jobs, along with working while pursuing an education. Hard work and long hours are nothing new to me. And then, I had kids.
It just is different. Maybe it’s the on-call, 24-7, 365 of it. There is also the aspect that you are your own manager and the one everyone looks to in times of (real or imagined) crisis. On top of that, there is literally no manual on how to do your job. This may seem obvious, but to me, this was a complete shock. After all, I was practically raised hearing and reading the tips, tricks, and straightforward solutions of all the best ways to raise children. Imagine my surprise when I found out that the “results may vary” disclaimer was never included! For every parenting book, scientific study, and experienced professional’s opinion out there about how to grow the brightest child possible, there is another, just as qualified, who will disagree. If you think the contradicting advice is rough, wait until you start looking into other countries’ studies and compare them to your own. It’s world-shattering, and yet, here I am.
All that to say, I did choose to be a mother. I think humans are beautiful, no matter how much life experience they have. We are fascinating creatures. None of my inspirations or dream stories would exist if it were not for humanity’s love and exploration. Creating humans to continue the circle of life, love, and creative joy is a natural expression of my adoration for human experience narratives. After all, who am I creating these stories for, if not to share them with people? So, while this job is not what I expected, I know that it will be the most worthwhile thing I could ever do, and I have no shame in choosing to be a mother.
Motherhood is my day job. Well, really, it’s my every minute job, but I digress. And because it is so demanding, it is natural to see it as a nemesis to achieving my artistic goals. There is never enough time in the day, and I would always take that to mean that my dreams and life were at war. At times, this conflict is so real that I feel like it’s not worth the fight and conclude it would be better to just give up on any goals that do not fit under the umbrella of motherhood. I am learning from this book because this is only one perspective of the situation, and thankfully, perspectives can change.
The fact is, no matter how wonderful and fantastic our dreams are, we can’t just quit our day jobs. The reality is that life is not waiting around to reason with us on what will happen. Things will occur in the universe that have to be addressed, and we won’t be given the luxury to “pencil it in” at our convenience. We must pay bills, we must do things to take care of our own needs, and it is good and right that we do! There is a glamorous idea of people who abandon those responsibilities to pursue a dream. Instead, they end up relying entirely on the kindness and guilt of others, with little to show for it in the end. Quitting your day job will not help you achieve your dreams; it will instead create more barriers between you and your goals.
Truthfully, this sounds like a terrible conclusion. However, Jon came to an interesting resolution that I am trying to take to heart. No, you cannot quit your day job, but that doesn’t mean your day job can’t help you achieve your goals. He explains that everything in life worth achieving is only doable by learning valuable life lessons. Things like perseverance, diligence, dedication are just as fundamental to achieving my artistic goals as sketching, working out scripts, and character design. I could have all the time in the world with hundreds of resources at my hands, but if I haven’t built the character necessary to create a comic, it won’t make a lick of difference. Motherhood seems oppressive, but it helps mold me into the person I need to be to achieve my goal. And the more I can be thankful for that, the happier and more meaningful my life will become in all avenues of my life, not just my artistic ones.
I probably need to stop here, because let’s face it, this is getting long. But I really hope what I have learned can encourage you to see the drudging parts of life as the parts that make you into your full potential. Every achievement levels you up in the game of life, so avoid the cheat codes, and it will make unlocking those achievements lasting and meaningful. Peace be unto you all!